How's the hunt treating you?
Fourteen syllables to avoid one honest word. The thesaurus worked harder that week than the retention team ever did.
"Rightsizing", "streamlining", "involuntary attrition". The euphemism budget is bottomless.
Cold pizza as compensation for a five-figure loss. The morale committee has a budget and it is exactly one Domino's order. They even sent a survey asking if we felt valued.
The bonus-to-pizza exchange rate is the truest measure of how a company sees you.
Nothing says spontaneous joy like a calendar invite with a mandatory RSVP and a sign-in sheet. Forced fun is just a meeting wearing a party hat.
The geotag did the heavy lifting. We are all in this together, apparently, from very different postal codes. The belt-tightening was, as always, a one-way instruction.
"We are all in this together" has never once included the person saying it.
You've reached the Mariana Trench. That's everything for now.